Procrastination and Panic Attacks

So tomorrow at 5 p.m. I am supposed to turn in a draft (I think 5,000 to 8,000 words) of my master’s project. Mine is about how technology is affecting the wedding industry. Why would someone who vows never to marry want to write about weddings? Well, I can’t really answer that question, but I do think that the topic is extremely interesting (at least, I hope). Yet I just can’t make myself sit down and finish writing the damn thing. So here I am…blogging.

Actually, since I have arrived at the computer lab this morning at 9, I’ve been very productive. I read an article about the upcoming season of my favorite show, 24. (since I’m no longer stuck in Denver, I don’t think CSI Miami can qualify as a favorite any longer. So long Caruso.) I have emailed a bunch of my friends to let them know that I’m back in NYC. I have finished my coffee. I read my favorite Monday Times article, the Media Equation. (It’s about blogs, and it’s very funny and insightful, so check it out!). I also emailed my dad about said article (Hi dad!).

Just a few thoughts before I get down to business though:

The average cost of an engagement ring is $3,500 to $4,000 and even though it started out as a marketing slogan, people actually believe that spending 2 months of their salary on an engagement ring is the norm. Two months. So a typical Initech employee who makes $30,000 every year is supposed to spend $5,000 on an engagement ring?

Well, a diamond IS forever I suppose. Unless of course, one day you’re raking leaves and as you’re throwing all of the detritus into a big plastic bag your ring falls off, never to be ogled again. True story, by the way.

I think it would make a lot more sense if men started buying little chocolate donuts for their potential spouses. It’s a practical option for a number of reasons: they’re easily replaceable from most high school vending machines, they're bigger than typical engagement rings (and bigger is better, right?), they are the breakfast of champions (according to John Belushi), and if you get lost in the woods, you can either turn your ring into crumbs, Hansel and Gretel style, or eat it, if you’re really desperate.

I decided to check out ebay to see what their rings go for, expecting to find all sorts of deals. In fact, there is one “buy it now” engagement ring for the price of 25 cents plus $3 shipping. That’s cheaper than a package of little chocolate donuts! Here is the description: “I cannot guarantee that this is a cubic zircon stone (approximately 1/3 carat in size), it may be glass.”

However, there is also an engagement ring on ebay that costs $273,000. And the diamond is in the shape of a heart. Grody. Shipping also costs around $300, but I guess if you’re spending that much on a ring, shipping is sort of a drop in the bucket.

Okay, enough procrastinating. If I wait to finish this thing, I may start to have a panic attack, which would be hard since I’m already on valium.

That’s my teaser, which is a little something I learned from 24. Stay tuned and I’ll tell you how I managed to procure such coveted prescription...