Subways Are a Nightmare

I’ve been having a recurring nightmare. I am standing on a subway platform waiting for the 1 train. I hear the train coming, the lights of the train appear coming towards me, and right before the train flies past, someone throws me in front of it.

I partially blame Johanna for this one. She was listening to NPR and heard a story about some girl whose sister was thrown in front of a train by a crazy man. The family wanted to prosecute him, but he was clearly insane, so there wasn’t much anyone could do.

Sometimes I have variations of the dream. Two young guys sometimes pick me up. One of them has my legs and the other one has my arms, and then they hoist me onto the tracks as if I were a kid being thrown into a swimming pool by some friends.

The dream has me really freaked out, to the point that I stand on the platform with my back smooshed against the wall as far away from the tracks as possible and don’t make a move toward the train until it is practically stopped in front of me. As a result, I never get a seat if the subway is even remotely crowded, but I figure it’s better than being flattened.

Of course, this technique doesn’t work if I’m on a platform with train tracks on either side of me. In this case I stand by a pillar and suspiciously eye anyone who has the gall to stand within 10 feet of me.

At my most paranoid, I’ve sometimes considered actually grabbing onto one of these pillars, you know, just in case. But I haven’t stooped that low yet. I don’t want people to know what a freak I am.