Suits: Friend or Foe?

I think my generation has a seriously dysfunctional relationship with suits. And who can blame us? Suits aren’t typical attire for work (unless you’re a politician or a CEO), yet they are still expected during job interviews. At least, I think they are. I have friends that tell me suits are no longer necessary, but I’ve also talked to people higher up who say that wearing something other than a suit to an interview can be a make-or-break decision.

Which brings me to today. I had an interview. I knew that the interviewer(s) would be wearing khakis, maybe jeans, maybe even a Cosby sweater, but I felt like I should wear a suit. This was problematic for one reason, which was that I left my suit at my parents’ house in McLean, Va. Oh, and before I go on, I should mention that the interview was for an unpaid internship. I know; it’s ludicrous.

So anyway, I emailed my friend Rachies about my dilemma and asked where I could get a suit on the cheap, and this was her response. Really, I didn’t change a word:

“ann taylor loft? banana republic? you’ll spend like 300 dollars and then you will RETURN IT. yes i have done this. am i proud of it? no. but ive sat in several interviews with tags dangling on my back and no one ever knew….

…I’m totally up for suit shopping and talking you into the buy, wear, return thing. it’s practically a good luck charm.”

As you can see, Rachies is VERY convincing. So persuasive in fact that I actually considered it. But there is one thing you learn after 25 years: some people get away with this kind of thing and I’m not one of those people. I’m klutzy, forgetful and occasionally flaky. I would inevitably forget and have the tag dangling down my back on the OUTSIDE of my jacket. Rachies on the other hand is much smoother. She can get away with returning a worn suit because she looks young, sweet and innocent and no one would suspect her of the kind of nefarious behavior she’s capable of.

Anyway, for anyone who needs to buy a pantsuit they will only wear a handful of times, might I suggest H & M? Thirty dollars turned me into a really conservatively dressed woman.

On another note, I got a ridiculous call from my sister on Monday morning. She had just realized that “that bald guy” they kept showing at the Oscars was Jack Nicholson. She had wondered to herself “why do they keep showing the Commish?” For those of you who don’t remember the show, it starred Michael Chiklis, who most people would know as “that guy from The Shield.” As an aside, Johanna’s association of Chiklis with his 1991 role is much like her recognition of Joey Pantoliano. When she saw him at the White House correspondent’s dinner a few years ago, she could have said, “I loved you in The Sopranos, Memento or even Bad Boys.” But instead she said, “I loved you in the Goonies!”

Anyway, judge for yourself: